We've been had.
citizenpuppet
About a year ago, Caroline and I worked with this fat tub of shit named Doug. At first, we didn't realize Doug was a d-bag. He was actually a really nice person, we all had shit in common, the three of us seemed to hit it off. Then one day Doug decided that he would unveil himself as the spineless piece of crap that he was and proclaim to anyone who would listen that Caroline was better off without me and that his school boy crush on her was true love. Thankfully, this one celled moron was fired before he could ever open his fat mouth. We took on his friend Drew as a pretty sincere friend for the last year. He's been a fun drinking buddy and I've had a lot of really great memories with him. He's slept at our house, we've gone out to dinner, countless hours spent killing brain cells together and a shared appreciation for good music. That all came crashing down Saturday night and he too has joined the ranks of the scumbags in life that can't simply handle having Caroline as only a friend. It is vital to this story to say that Caroline doesn't really have friends. She's a big fan of people she can call on and really trust (much like anyone), she's not big on having drinking friends like some people. So Drew was pretty much one of her only friends left. I knew she really enjoyed his company and thought nothing of it when they went out with him and his friend Danielle. I met this girl for about five minutes before they left and really had no opinion. As soon as they got drunk, this girl starts badmouthing me to Caroline and telling her how great Drew is and eventually, how he has been madly in love with her. She's drunk and confused and trying to keep it together and after the fact, twice Drew tries to pull a fast one on her by slapping her ass on the dance floor and then almost going in for a kiss when they were home and wasted in the kitchen. Clearly, Caroline diverted that from happening and went to bed really fucked up in the head as her only friend just blew it. I didn't go out, I stayed at home as I had a rough week and woke up to this girl Danielle's dried up puke crusted on the porcelain sink of our bathroom. She's real classy. Drew then clogged the sink while brushing his teeth and I had to do some plumbing work before going out to breakfast. No one said anything, everyone was all smiles. They didn't tip on the way out which I thought was strange and as Caroline and I left the car, they didn't even say goodbye. So, we've been had. Another bites the dust and all that cliche bullshit. I'm so sick of this town and pretty much everyone in it. I'm angry and if I see this person ever again, I don't know how I'll react.

(no subject)
citizenpuppet
I'm kind of excited for this weekend. Friday night, Lemuria is playing at The Funeral Home. Saturday morning, I'm driving to Mayville to pick up an 8x10 bass cabinet, and later in the evening Iceberg is playing a huge benefit at the Buffalo Irish Center.

Last night, due to a show at 99 and the fact that we've lost some steam over the last week or so - we spent three hours over at the Lemuria/Unwelcome Guests space. The whole thing really put things into perspective for me. We've been lucky as a band in the sense that we've always had a free space (basement) to practice in, but I see now how bands get really tight in small spaces like that one. Everything is super loud, there's way more energy, and it's hot enough to get your blood pumping. I am immediately going to find us a space. If I had it my way, I'd never practice on Custer Street again after last night. Truly, a great experience.

I'm making the rounds to some local studios in the hopes of finding someone who will let me come in during the weekends and do grunt work in order to gain a little studio knowledge. From everything I've researched, a $20k education in the field is nowhere near as useful as getting in there and getting your hands dirty. Hopefully I can get in somewhere.

(no subject)
citizenpuppet
I've become immersed in music. I realize that it is the only thing I was really put on this earth to do. Caroline, friends, and family aside - making music is the only thing I truly care about anymore. Some could read that and question my sanity, but I'm finding that I'm happiest when I'm holding a guitar, playing a piano, and experimenting with making sounds. My life plan now will be to pay off my student loans from the past and enter a recording program at an accredited college and do this shit for the rest of my life as a career. In the snapshot of things, you only get a very short time on this rock and you're going to die anyway one way or the other, so why not spend your time here doing what makes you the happiest? Fuck getting stuck behind these desk jobs for the rest of my life, struggling for $30,000 a year while my ass gets fat and my brain gets lazy.

(no subject)
citizenpuppet
I spent the majority of the night feeling sick and reading music articles online. One of said articles regards what is the best live performance ever captured on video and this one was on there. I agree, it's damn good.


(no subject)
citizenpuppet
Today, I deleted my Facebook account. Obviously not exactly news-worthy, but I've been thinking of doing it for some time now because I find myself sitting there flipping through people's pages and it's just dumb. Plus, I was listening to the John Tesh show on 104.1 the other night and he was talking about how 80% of the "millennial" generation of which I belong to sleeps with a cell phone at close range (I don't have one) and that almost 90% have either a Facebook page or a Myspace - so there you have it. I hate my generation, so why not distance myself a little further. Today, I also found myself actually purchasing digital music via iTunes. It was only a couple of songs of a duet between John Frusciante and Omar Rodriguez-Lopez of the Mars Volta and it wasn't exactly mind-blowing or anything, but that's what the crazy music purchasing habit is all about, right? When you couple all of this with my getting books and movies from the library, I'm almost "adult" material. I even got a job I don't think I'll like! I'm on my way I tell you. And with that, I'll go read my book now.

(no subject)
citizenpuppet
I haven't smoked cigarettes in some time now and tonight I realize that buying vintage Lacoste clothing on eBay may be a quick replacement. I don't know what it is about this company. Actually, I DO know what it is: the damn alligator. I sound like an asshole I know. I don't even golf, but for some reason I'm drawn to their clothes. Simple, classy. It's like I'm sixteen all over again discovering the GAP. I'm sure life will smack me around in a few years again and make me realize that their clothes are no different than any other polo shirt company gone trendy, but damn it if they don't smoke right now.

(no subject)
citizenpuppet
I've been steadily employed with no blips on the radar for over three years. That track record came crashing down around me on Tuesday when out of the blue, the bosses at our office called a meeting saying they owed the bank 160,000 dollars with no way to pay it back. Hence, we're all out of a job. At first, I was frightened. The last few days however, I've been submitting my resume any place I can and even have a few interviews lined up for next week. Caroline and I won't be working together anymore, which can only be good for our relationship. In ten years of working, I've never filed unemployment. As a safety precaution, I did. I just opened the mail to find out I'll be receiving $330 a week, not to mention any other benefits we can get until we're back to work. I'm psyched, but I'm getting bored fast - so hopefully I land some work soon.

(no subject)
citizenpuppet
It's finally October. It's my favorite month of the year and now that it's here, it means scary movies, Stephen King novels, pumpkins, hay rides, apples, cider, pumpkin ales, listening to every song by The Misfits with Danzig on vocals, and haunted houses. On Halloween, as was the case a few years back, the band I'm playing in is doing a show at a punk house. I'm so excited. I know Iceberg isn't the punkest band in the world, but we've got some movers and shakers in our set and it's always fun to see people dancing around in silly costumes. Here's to a great month.

(no subject)
citizenpuppet
A very enjoyable part of my day is starting out with the latest issue of Rolling Stone while in the bathroom. I don't know why - I just feels right. For the most part, I disagree with a lot of what it represents, but I still can't shake it. This morning, I was reading a small article about how Kurt Cobain's likeness will appear in the latest Guitar Hero game and pantomime every available song in the game once his avatar is unlocked. Predictably, Courtney Love is rushing out to sue Activision and roll over even more dough in the name of her dead husband. However, the company claims up and down that they're fully within their legal rights to have done this, based on a contract previously signed by Courtney Love. Was she high or drunk? Either way, the whole thing stinks to high heaven. Cobain was clearly not the kind of guy who would have wanted his face all over a 16-bit Super Nintendo game back in 1994 at the time of his death, let alone his virtual self smashing guitars to Bon Jovi tunes. Classy. Would they do the same to Michael Jackson?

Coming into the morning shift today, I see coworkers walking around in pajamas. This bothers me. You come in on Mondays at least kind of well-dressed, but just because it's Saturday, you have to walk in looking like a slob? I'm not a fashion Nazi by any means, but come on. This whole casual attitude surrounding Friday has to go as well. Call me crazy, but I think it's the most important day of the week if you're in an office setting trying to turn over money. It's your last bastion of hope for that week's books. People walk in whenever they want, wearing sandals, only to half-ass their job for five hours before dipping out early. These people don't get fired somehow, and Caroline and I are seen as strange for dressing in a business casual way (nice shirt, jeans, shoes) and leaving when we're supposed to. Screw casual Friday, it's a joke. I shouldn't get angry about this stuff - maybe I should embrace it. But as every calendar year clicks over, and the economy goes further and further down the tubes, I can't help but think that our behavioral patterns as a society have more to do with what's really wrong than do the representatives in Washington or the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies hell bent on doing anything for a little green. We're to blame, we did this, we let it happen. I see it every day in the people I talk to: they could care less. These are the same people calling the President a socialist right now and acting like the whole world is coming to its end because someone wants to help them out. They want to build a wall in a country that spent decades trying to tear them down. The media plays right into it and exploits the whole mentality because it entails revenue for them and their sponsors, who are the faceless sellers of Stupidity, Inc. Times have changed and the information age seems to hold a glimmer of hope for the future, but the last stronghold of that fat, lazy personality is still alive and well. This never would have worked fifty years ago. The KFC Double-Down sandwich (google it), paying more money every month for more commercials on more channels on bigger and pricier televisions, bailing ourselves out of a foreclosure with nowhere to run but China's back pocket? Would people have enjoyed "It's a Wonderful Life" as much if Mr. Potter won and Bedford Falls went under? Is it our willingness to elect without caring about the facts, to get stomped on without notice, or is it the Casual Friday mentality?

(no subject)
citizenpuppet
I'm sitting at home on a Friday night SIPPING a pint of J.W. Dundee Oktoberfest, knowing full well that I have to be up early tomorrow morning and into work by eight o'clock, and I'm cool with that. After going through all previous posts on here and recently doing a bit of soul-searching, I find it to be a strange turn of events in my life. I used to be a raging weekend warrior/alcoholic who couldn't handle any of his bills and never cared about anyone but himself. Now, there's a woman that loves me back ten fold, I'm early with most bills, have a bit of money saved up here and there every now and again, and I'm trying to somehow train my body to get between seven and nine hours of sleep every night because I read online about all the health benefits associated with it. I mean, does that sound neurotic to anyone else? Everything else is wonderful, but I find myself searching through hours of articles online about how to do this and how to do that; it's really quite odd. I guess I'm an idealist and I'm just sick of looking around and seeing the same people doing the same exact shit over and over again. My best friend, I see her all day long - except during nights like tonight when she's working her second job. I spend about two hours a week with the band - everything's alright, but it's still much less than it used to be when I lived next door and went over to drink every night. Any time I spend doing anything outside of work with that section of my life typically involves alcohol somehow. I'm sick of seeing grown adults slurring their words and acting like children. I sometimes want to smack them around and ask them: "what was the last book you read, dumbass? When's the last time you went a week without a drink?" But, that would be arrogant and I'm trying to close THAT chapter of my life as well. I can be a real prick sometimes, and being humble is right at the top of my to-do list - alongside being healthy. Happiness is key though. Happiness comes in being with the people that make me feel comfortable. And if that's mostly Caroline, then so be it. Hank too, he gets me. I just wish I could have real conversations with my friends again, instead of having my words stepped on every five seconds. Maybe I'm getting old and jaded. I don't think I really care either way. I'm content with closing that part of my life forever. My main goal is to smile as much as possible, give most people the benefit of the doubt, and play as much sober music as possible. Anyone else in?

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